Choosing a Surrogate: Matching Intended Parents with the Right Partner
Surrogacy is one such process that can feel like a whirlwind to both surrogate and intended parents. Why? Because there is so much more to it than just finding a woman who agrees to give birth to a child on behalf of a couple. Surrogacy involves everything from legal formalities to the physical and mental health of a surrogate. In other words, surrogacy is a complicated process. And surrogate-intended parents’ relationship is one of the most vital parts of the process. In this blog, we will explore how surrogacy matching works and what intended parents should look for in a prospective surrogate.
What is Surrogacy Matching and How it Works?
Surrogacy matching is a process where the surrogate and intended parents come together after discussing their preferences and expectations to embark on the surrogacy journey with complete trust and compassion.
The first step to surrogacy matching is to find the right agency like Happy Surrogacy. The surrogacy coordinator at Happy Surrogacy will find the surrogates according to the intended parent’s preferences and recommend the most suitable matches. Once it’s done, the surrogate and intended parents meet to discuss their expectations before moving forward.
Why Finding the Right Surrogacy Match Matters?
The surrogacy process takes a lot of time and emotions, and of course, it involves important decisions throughout the tenure. Hence, it is crucial that both the surrogate and intended parents share their values and goals from the start to avoid any confusion and last-minute disagreements. A well-suited match leads to mutual understanding on critical topics, agreements when choices need to be made, and better communication as you navigate the process together. In contrast, a mismatch in personalities may lead to conflicts between surrogates and intended parents.
Criteria for Matching Intended Parents and Surrogates
Once the intended parents make a heartfelt decision to hire a surrogate to complete their family, the next step is finding a surrogate who aligns with their expectations. Likewise, it is also important for a surrogate to find compatible intended parents for a smooth surrogacy process. Hence, the surrogacy agency makes matches after considering both parties’ comfort levels and needs.
The surrogacy matching agency gets the preferences of both the parties on:
- Communication Frequency: Because surrogates may live distantly, intended parents may want daily text updates about the pregnancy, weekly calls, or visits during medical check-ups. Defining these expectations helps in the long run.
- Location: Based on surrogacy laws and convenience for travel, intended parents may have their preference about the surrogate’s location. A surrogate living closer can attend key appointments more easily.
- Number of Embryos to Transfer: Intended parents should be clear about how many embryos they want to transfer because it may result in the birth of more than one baby.
- Relationship Post-birth: While some intended parents extend their relationship with the surrogates after birth, others part ways with mutual consent. Hence, it is important to share these preferences with the agency for a smooth relationship.
- Selective Reduction or Termination: The surrogacy process is challenging. Open conversations about pregnancy termination can help avoid conflicts down the road.
What to Find in a Good Prospective Surrogate?
Whether it’s natural pregnancy or surrogacy, every parent wants their child to be healthy and happy. Even in the easiest of circumstances, choosing the right surrogate can be an overwhelming process. After all, your life is transitioning. You are going to be parents and what’s more special than that? Right? So, coming back to the point. Surrogacy can be a lengthy process while being emotional and complicated at the same time. To make this as smooth as possible, choosing the right surrogate for the intended parents is crucial. Here are some of the qualities you can look for in a surrogate for a healthy surrogacy:
Physical Health: For the baby to be healthy, the surrogate must be free from all chronic medical conditions, such as diabetes (which can transfer to the baby genetically). Also, the family medical history is important to take into consideration while choosing the surrogate.
Healthy Lifestyle: A healthy lifestyle is one of the important aspects to consider as the intended parents. It is crucial to ask the prospective surrogates about their diet habits, exercise routines, and their relationships. Make sure they do not have any alcohol, smoking, or other addictions which can lead to risky pregnancy.
Support System: Having a support system in life is essential to go through any mental or physical change in the body. Hence, if your surrogate has a strong support system, be it family, friends, or colleagues, it will help her throughout the surrogacy process and the pregnancy.
Emotional Health: Carrying a baby is an emotional process. The mother goes through various mood changes and self-confidence issues which should be addressed when you search for a surrogate. Ask about their mental health issues, if any, and how good they are with their coping mechanisms.
Experience: If as intended parents, you choose a surrogate who has had a healthy pregnancy before – whether their own or a surrogate pregnancy, it would be a good choice. It proves that they are healthy and can bear the pressure.
Bottom Line
Opting for surrogacy can be a life-changing decision. And with the right care and consideration, the surrogacy matching process can unite compatible surrogates and intended parents easily. However, multiple things matter when you are looking for a surrogate. For example, as much as location and local regulations matter, the health history and experience of the surrogate also do. At Happy Surrogacy, we guide all parties compassionately so that they find the right partner for bringing a child home. We are passionate about helping people create happy families and nurture surrogate and intended parents for life.
